It started when I was young –– I was born when my mother was –– and her family is Chinese, and my grandpa didn’t want me to use my dad’s last name cause they weren’t married so I used my mom’s last name… but it became a separate family when I was 3 and they decided that I lived under my father’s family because neither my parents can afford to raise me. My grandma from my dad decided she’ll take care of me, like going to school etc. My grandma was loving and she took care of not just me but also a brother who came after me, and two more sisters from my dad when he had more children after splitting up with my mom. My grandma’s daughters live in Canada and they all decided bringing us there would be a great solution because of the better opportunities so they decided to adopt us, which was something I never understood as a child, because I loved having my mom’s last name, it’s the only thing I have from her, and I spoke out my opinions on not wanting to be adopted nor going to Canada because i believed back then that if I wanted to go there, I could find ways of going there on my own. Not long enough, university happened and nobody wanted to fund my tuition. I was looking for people to help me, applying for scholarships when there’s barely opportunities, actually achieving it and having four years of college experience, I’ve found out how living in the Philippines is actually hard if you don’t have the privilege nor connections, and maybe in other places of the world too. It was just a year left before my expected graduation when my immigrant Visa came, and it was hard for me to accept that i wouldn’t be able to graduate the scholarship i worked hard to get in to, but somehow I know one does not need a diploma to prove they’ve truly learned. The corporate world may be competitive but true learning lies in all the lessons you’ve learned from going on the course of life. I still feel lost and I don’t have my life together yet but at 22… they say I’m still young, and I don’t necessarily need to have my life together yet and I have my whole life ahead of me to figure it out. While I’m currently nervous about passing my resume to 6 jobs and not hearing back from any yet, maybe a few months from now, I’ll look back and see how far it’s been since the last thing I worried of was being adopted to get here in Canada.

Kou